| Blinkersonly | Cool Story Nixon | 2015-08-02 00:46:17 |
| Tobacco | It is a cold harsh winter's day in Stalingrad as the Nazi and Soviet forces conduct brutal street-to-street warfare over the ruined city.A fresh batch of Soviet conscripts arrive at the operating base to head to the front lines. These men have minimal training and not all of them were the best and brightest of Stalin's children. The conscripts, many of whom arrive with only the uniforms on their backs, huddled themselves around the campfires before the Commissar shouted for them to form an orderly line in front of him.One by one, each Conscript would walk forward to the armorers and receive their weapons and ammunition, and so it went, with each Conscript receiving his trusty cosmoline-drenched Mosin Nagant. All, that is, except for one. Private Dmitri was the last conscript to go through the line."Sorry, Comrade," the supply sergeant said, "We are all out of rifles.""But how will I kill fascists without a rifle?" Dmitri asked. | 2015-07-23 00:39:34 |
| Tobacco | The sergeant looked around and finally saw a broom laying against a nearby tent. He hands the conscript the broom and says, "Here comrade take this. This will be your rifle.""I don't understand, Comrade Sergeant, this is a broom.""Do not question Comrade Stalin's genius. This is not an ordinary broom, but a sophisticated prototype, designed to fool all but the most clever. It may look like a simple broom, but it is just as deadly as any rifle. You must simply point it at the enemy and shout 'bang!' any time you wish fire."The Conscript was very trusting and was all too happy to accept one of the latest instruments of deception warfare in his hands. "Oh, but Comrade Sergeant," he asked, coming to a realization, "What about a bayonet?" | 2015-07-23 00:39:16 |
| Tobacco | "We are out of those too, unfortunately," the Sergeant said, suppressing a chuckle at the conscript's gullibility, "Fear not, though. From the same line as your broom rifle, I have this pen knife. It is deadly sharp at its tip, so be careful not to prick yourself with it. Just lash it to your broo-- I mean, rifle, with some string and jab it at the enemy while shouting 'stab! stab! stab!'""And will I receive grenades, Comrade Sergeant?" the Conscript asked of the armorer as the Commissar called for all of the conscripts to fall in to formation.The armorer reached under his table and scavenged around "Take these," he said, thrusting a pair of pine cones into the Conscript's arms. "Throw them at the enemy and when they explode, shout 'BOOM!' as loud as you can, but make sure to duck as they are very dangerous." | 2015-07-23 00:39:06 |
| Tobacco | "Thank you very much, Comrade Sergeant, I will remember your generosity when I slay hundreds of Nazi pigs and become a hero of the Soviet Union!" the conscript shouted back as he ran off to join the ranks.Hours later, the Conscript is patrolling forward with his platoon into the heart of Stalingrad's industrial district. Destruction is all around him and the sound of distant gunfire is constant. The platoon enters a large open square filled with piles of rubble from the nearby buildings and craters from artillery impacts. Suddenly, gunfire erupts from either side of them and to the front, a well laid German ambush. | 2015-07-23 00:38:57 |
| Tobacco | Most of Dmitri's comrades are slain in the first volley, but he manages to duck for cover in an impact crater. He finds his bearings and takes aim at a German soldier on the other side of the square. "Bang!" he shouts. To his surprise, the German soldier falls over dead. He realizes he was right to trust the wisdom of his superiors, and continues firing at the enemy."Bang! Bang! Bang!" three more Germans fall dead.The enemy is closing in from one flank. He finds himself face to face with a German. Without hesitation, he thrusts the pen on the end of his broomstick at his enemy and shouts "Stab! Stab! Stab!" in three quick thrusts, the enemy crumples, dead. | 2015-07-23 00:38:48 |
| Tobacco | Now the enemy is approaching from the other flank, dug in behind some large rubble. The Commissar orders his men to throw grenades. Dmitri pulls one of the pine cones from his pocket, pulls the stem of it off with his teeth, and throws it toward the dug-in Germans. He ducks, waits five seconds, and shouts "BOOM!" at that moment the German soldiers are slain by a massive explosion.The fighting rages on for several minutes, with most of the combatants on either side laying dead. Dmitri is the only Russian left in the Square. He peeks his head up to see if he can spot any more Germans. He thinks he is in the clear, when he sees a lone German soldier round the corner and enter the square, headed right for Dmitri. | 2015-07-23 00:38:39 |
| Tobacco | The German soldier appears unarmed, but he shuffles forward steadily, with his arms out in front of him and his fists clenched. He is clearly here to fight. Dmitri takes aim with his broom. "Bang! bang! bang!" he shouts. The German is unmoved. As the German nears, Dmitri preps his last pine cone grenade and throws it. "BOOM!" he shouts. Still, the German shuffles forward. Finally the German is almost on top of him. In a final act of desperation, Dmitri jabs at him with the pen. "Stab! Stab! Stab!" No effect. Dmitri comes to the realization he will die on this battlefield. This invincible German has somehow bested him and his prototype technology. The last words Dmitri hears as the German soldier comes face to face with him: "Tank! Tank! Tank!" | 2015-07-23 00:38:28 |
| Mos-cowboy | uuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaa | 2012-12-16 14:47:13 |
